#ThrowBackThursday "It's You" Short Story

So I went on my tumblr and was just kind of looking through my old posts, and I happened to come across an old short story that I wrote a while back. It was pretty good to me back then lol. Maybe I'll expand on the story in some future posts or something lol BUT then again maybe all start doing #ThrowbackThursdays on my blog because I have a lot of old blogposts that would be fun to read. Oh shit it is thursday today huh? .  Anyways, So here it is.

IT’S YOU.

I grew up thinking getting raped was my fault. Maybe it was something i did or maybe how i acted. I was 11 years old when in happend, a little girl living with her mother and two brothers in brooklyn NY. One night i was walking home from playing at the park with my best friend. I remember it like it was yesterday. While i was walking i swear i could hear someone walking behind me but everytime i looked back there was no one to be seen. Then out of no where i felt a fist punch me in the back of my head. After that i remember waking up  facing down on a wooden floor, i felt a man stroking me harder and harder whispering in my ear “its okay just relax diamond” i wanted to scream but I couldn’t. After he was done he put me in a head lock and said “i love you baby girl” and ran out. I layed there for some moments after that then got my stuff together and found my way then continued walking home. I came home to my mom passed out on the couch. I was so devistated i thought no one would believe me. I never told anyone my story.

15 years have gone by now and I diamond jones am the editor of forbes magazine. More successful than i ever have been. And now even happily married to a beautiful husband with a 6 year old daughter. We have been married for 8 years and are still going on strong. His name is Hakeem and he is 10 years older than me. I know i know its a bit of a difference in our age but hey love is love. 

Okay scratch that, thats how i wished my life was at the moment. But it isnt quite like that. So yes i am married and yes he is 10 years older than me and yes i do have a beautiful daughter. But the thing is i am the opposite of happily married at the moment things havent been going well with me and hakeem. Latley he has been blowing me off saying really mean things. i think he is cheating.

Time to do some investigating. Im coming home early today to check all his shit and see what i can find. Better believe if i do find some shit, him and that bitch are mine. I got home at about a quarter to 7. Great that gives me plenty time to look through his office. i started at his drawers, i didnt really know what i was looking for at the moment but whatever. Then i went to his laptop. I was going through all his files, when i reached a file that was locked. Good thing i am the master of cracking codes. Got it !! it was his birthdate and his weight “what a obvious nigga i thought”. I opened it and it had about 10 other files in just titled dates. I opened the first one and it was a picture of a little girl. Weird i thought to myself. then i began to read. As i read i was in total dis belief i started to cry. I couldn’t believe i was reading a summary on how Hakeem had raped this little girl. I went to the next file it said 3/08/1998 my body turned cold because I could never forget that date. That was the day I was raped by the man i never saw. I slowley clicked on the file and there the picture was, 11 year old me. 

This whole time i was married to my rapist.

THE END.

By: Oyinda 

Letter to my Bestfriend/Sister

Hi Koisey lol. Heyyyyyyyy. Just wanted to come on here and write sumtin real sweet foh my babes.
Lol just kidding idk what I even want to say. But I guess i'll just let it flow.

I've seen what you have been through this week and I just want to say that its the hardest thing to see your best friend hurt. I just want to remind you that you are such a bad bitch. Don't let any bum ass, spiteful ass, egotistic ass,  stupid ass, ugly ass, evil ass bitch tell you any different. You are not only beautiful but smart too. Over the past 7 years of our friendship you have taught me a lot about just simply being effortlessly genuine.  Now I know I can't understand the hurt that you are feeling and don't necessarily know what you are thinking. I just want you to know that the cards you've recently been dealt have nothing to do with you as a person. You don't deserve that and you never did. & for what its worth I'll always be there for you to pick you up when you break down. Just like you are for me. Don't worry my sistaaaaa everything will fall into place. I pray for you to heal and prosper in anything you set your heart to.

Valentines Day | 50 Shades of Grey Review ft. cousins

That entertaining moment when.....

                    That entertaining moment when your ex and his girlfriend create a couples blog. 

Though I hate using that term "EX".   When my friend texted me telling me they were making a blog we all just got a great kick out of it. What could my ex possibly want to blog about.? I knew it had to be his girlfriends Idea. 

Later on that week my ex texted me, as he usually does once probably every 2 weeks. I decided to reply and ask about this "blog". Can you believe this nigga had the nerve to try and play dumb! He was like "what blog?" after I kept on questioning he was all like "OOOOOOH yeah, thats not really my area that was her idea" I just thought a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo was going on after that point. I didn't really pay too much mind to it subsequently.

But today was their "blog debut" i guess. I you guys know I'm not going to act all fake and say I wasn't going to check it out and its none of my business. Nooope you can bet my nosey ass was excited to check on it. Shit what can I say I'm a blogger myself and I used to deal with this guy and had my fair share of catty moments with his Girlfriend. 

So I checked it out. It was actually nice(like I said I won't lie). I read one part where my ex called me Bipolar lol.  My reaction to that was the same as my reaction to everything they do. I just laughed. I absolutely loved it! Later on I went and deleted my ex from snapchat because I felt as if he lost those privileges lmao.

But anyway today is Valentines Day and me and my cousins are going to see 50 shades of grey! So stay tuned for a Vlog/review on my channel later on

50 Told Me Go'n Head Switch The Style Up

Instead of being stupid and cutting off all of your hair. 

Ladies when you're  down and out I say the best thing to do is to change up your everyday surroundings. With all the current friendship drama I've been in over the past couple of days, I've kind of just been real snappy and moody. So today, when I had some free time I decided to change my room up a little bit. I hate my hot pink walls and don't know when ill ever have the time to paint it a different color. So for the time being I want to cover my entire room with different collages. 

Update: Hi Guys, Happy New Year!

Feel like I've been abandoning you guys, Im sorry! But i def have a good excuse. Its not that I haven't been thinking about my blog because honestly that's all I've been thinking about. I've been trying to move my blog to a new platform other than blogspot. I bought the domain everythingwithyin.com and a squarespace account all which I feel like were an epic fail. I even tried Wordpress (Fuck wordpress).  Anyway, I want to take my blogging more seriously this year. So wait for it guys!

Oh yeah! Happy New Year!

XOXOyinda

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Fashion Illustrator Savia Payne/ IDGAFASHION

20 year old Savia Payne also known as IDGAFASHION is a very talented fashion illustrator currently residing in Atlanta who is well on her way to making her mark. If you are looking for talent in this area Savia is your go to girl. I got the opportunity to chat with her AND give you guys a Q/A, BTW it only took me two seconds before she inspired me with her words so I know she'll do the same for those reading. She is such a sweetheart, thanks for letting me be a platform for your supporters to get to know you better. 

First off how old are you & What are your goals and is there anything you have done in particular that you are proud of?

I am 20 Years old.

My goals as of right now is to build my illustration company, start my clothing line ,and overall girl power brand.

Yes, I do I am proud of my work overall just because I took the leap to do it and haven't looked back since. It was extremely hard to put myself out there being that used to have bad social anxiety so the thought of sharing my art with others and being judged made me freak out haha. But I am very happy I took the leap it was a wonderful growing experience, it has also helped me with my social anxiety. Now I look at everything as a challenge, I'm just like why not? why cant I ? and why not now? you know? I just gave myself more control, as crazy as it may sound, I finally had the thought of "I'll only get as far as I let myself" so now I'm ready for whatever comes my way lol.

Savia Payne what is the one thing you want people to know about her?

Hmm, I want people to know that she isn't afraid to live, meaning I'm not afraid to take chances and truly live life exactly how I want. Mistakes and all, I would want people to know that I was always an optimistic person and I take chances. As well as my love for art and fashion of course lol.

Who inspires you? why?

Honestly I draw inspiration from everything and everyone. Other artist, people I know/admire,nature, animals, etc. I can look at anything and draw inspiration because everything was made with purpose , whether people realize it or not. Things were made inspire you and make you feel, you should never be able to look at something and feel nothing.

Did you always draw? Tell me about how you started as well as the point you knew this would be your passion.

Yes! I had always known I loved art, growing up I would doodle on ANY and EVERYTHING I could get my hands on, people would tell me I should be an artist but Id always say nooo haha, but I think on some level I subconsciously knew that I would because I loved it soo much!

You said you are currently planning to start an illistration company, tell me a litttle bit about that.

Yes! I have very big plans with my illustrating from home decor,to clothing, etc and a surprise! :)

Are you currently in school? or what steps are you taking to make things happen?

No I am not. I am working everyday and constantly doing something that'll give me the most out of everyday that'll make  a little tomorrow better.

You also  said you wanted to create an entire girl power brand. Why is that so important to you?

Its important  because every girl needs motivation. Usually women are overlooked for real business, its a male dominated business, so of course I want to bend the rules and show them a woman can do it just as well as a man if not better. People tend to not take you as serious when your a young woman looking to build an empire just because of the stereotypes. 

What’s your advice for any readers who want to pursue something

Never give up. There will be times you will feel like quitting but don't. Just think of it like this, with whatever you want to do,  there is a reason you chose it from the million other things you could have  wanted to do. ( sort of like your destiny). There was a reason you where born with this exact passion dont let your self doubt deter you from your passion. ever.

What exactly pushed you take the leap to start building your empire?

Honestly my friends, I'd always wanted to do something grand. But back when I was in HS in the 10th grade I had meet two new friends and they were awesome, to say the least. They were driven, smart,creative, funny, humble ,artistic (I actually meet them in my art class haha)etc They weren't worried about boys or gossip and I LOVED IT because neither was I, I'd never meet a girls that were actually as goal oriented as I am so they really pushed me to start now instead of later so I began instead of waiting until I was "grown".

What have been your experiences and what have you learned when it comes to trial and error

Its okay to make mistakes, I used to get hung over about stuff like that but that's honestly life. Shake it off and try again, people will understand because people understand that your human. You wont be able to please everyone and that's fine as long as you try your best. There are a million ways to chase one dream, so trial and error are a must until you find what works for you.

Speaking of not caring about boys and stuff, What is your take on dating/talking to guys now? Are you just focused on your craft and don't really care about dating as of now or what?

I am open to it but not just any guy, I am more focused but if someone comes along that'd be okay. But being that I literally just turned 20, I'm in noooo rush to get into a serious relationship with just any guy. He has to be goal oriented but can also just love living in general , meaning he isn't dying to get to the club EVERY  weekend and turn up etc. He has to know when to work and when to play until then I'm not looking.

I agree! So what can we expect from IDGAFASHION/ Savia Payne in 2015?

Hmm I am not sure if I can say but I will say ALOT more art as well as custom pieces! :)

 FOLLOW SAVIA PAYNE

TWITTER: IDGAFASHION

INSTAGRAM: idontgiveafashion

Business Inquiries: Savia235@gmail.com

12/18/14 NATURAL TRANSITION

When I was 14 years old I got my hair done by this lady and she braided my hair so tight I got sick. I'm not even trying to over exaggerate. I got the hair and it was so tight my entire face got swollen and I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with traction alopecia. My hair in one particular spot started to fall out it was so bad it started to get infected and bleed and basically was like a huge scab. The worst part about it was It was never going to grow back. It was like the worst thing a middle school girl could deal with. I was constantly bullied by the 8th graders and just felt plain ugly.

Ever since then weave has been my security blanket. I hated my real hair. I thought I looked so ugly. It was to the point I wouldn't take out my weave until I make sure I have a hair appointment is made the next day. As time went on The whole Natural Hair Movement became a thing. My best friend Nala even became Natural. I always admired her for that. It made me low-key want to but I just felt like I couldn't because of my alopecia.

Long story short,  when I took out my weave last night and woke up to wash it this morning I decided what the heck. So I grabbed the scissors turned on some Janelle Monae and started chopping away.   I am so glad I did. It felt so liberating and I felt so free. I Can honestly say I LOVE MY HAIR. & I am so excited to be on this journey. PS: Don't get me wrong I still love my weave and will be doing a lot of protective styles with it!

                                    It is hard being a black girl, so I get it if you don't get it

I Call This Maturing Like A Flower GotDammit

You know, life is beautiful. And I mean that in the most literal way too. I am an 18 year old girl who has been through a fair share of shit. But see we all do. As girls we tend to see a lot of things one sided. What I mean by that is we sometimes tend to think the world revolves around us and our problems.  Okay okay I know i'm kind of all over the place right now but just follow me dammit.  You know when your growing up and theres this boy you have the biggest crush on and you just like them soooo bad you think your in love but at the same time your like 14 and stupid. This particular friend was that guy. We grew up and grew apart and went our separate ways. But recently we reconnected and have just been talking (& I mean that in the most "JUST TALKING" way possible. And I'll admit my little Junior High School feelings started resurfacing. But He's been in a relationship with someone who from my understanding is a great girl. And Today their 1st child was born.

Now when I found out, The first 2 seconds I just felt like I got punched in the stomach. (in no way shape or form and i saying i want a baby right now) Then I processed it and smiled out of respect for their new gift and proceeded to text my friend and congratulate him and his Girlfriend for their new gift from God. Now before you start calling me a low-key spiteful ass hoe. Let me explain to you why the first 2 seconds felt like I got punched. Because honestly those innocent 8th grade feelings still linger & Because apart of me thinks the world revolves around me.

Good thing is I didn't let those feelings takeover and fall into a mode of asking myself why I don't have a relationship as beautiful or why I am I single, and all that other "why why why"bullshit. Reality is, you don't get anywhere in life by hating on others. And like I said life doesn't just revolve around you. Be patient and your time will come. (Lol now i'm talking to myself)  When I put that into perspective I really from the bottom of my heart was happy for my friend and his lady in their new journey together. & I Pray that their new family prospers in every aspect.

As for me, I just need to keep chasing these dreams I got. Knocking out Normandale and moving to the Big NYC. Mr.Right will come its only just a matter of time.

As for you, If your a girl and reading this. I just want to say You aren't a bad person and your not alone if sometimes you get jealous or hate on someone for a second. (Hence I said a second.) Its only wrong if your drown yourself in it and start preying on peoples downfalls. thats when you are a hater and thats when I can't defend your actions. Just remember the world doesnt revolve around you &  "DONT HATE APPRECIATE

PS. Again congratulations to you both and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I promise I'm not  a low-key spiteful plotting ass hoe lol.

My very first semester of College is coming to and end. To be honest it's actually a little nerve wrecking. Especially when I'm kind of just estimating what my grades are going to be. I honestly don't understand why colleges don't show updated grades it actually drives me a little insane. All i care is that I am at least at a 3.0 or above. Anyway I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I know there is so much to be thankful for.

All Over The Place Ass Post: My Weekend

Aye you know those times when you cry so much your head hurts. Man that's basically been my entire weekend. All week I've been saying I miss my mom and can't wait to spend time with her over the weekend. But all we really did was argue. I was just trying to talk to her on some real shit. I went on to saying how I feel like I'm there for everyone in my life but nobody is there for me when I want to vent. (peep how that has nothing to do with her) Yet she got hella mad and that sparked her to flip out and say a whole bunch of shit that has nothing to do with anything. Now if y'all know me you know me and my mom don't have the best relationship but I love her to death and would kill for her.   Whatever. I guess I just need to accept the relationship I have with my mom. At least I have one right? But yeah that whole thing has just been stressing me out. I need to really work on myself and get it together for real though, because shit nobody is going to do it for me. I really be feeling like I am the only person I have. So I always try really hard to make sure I'm good in all aspects.

About an hour ago I unfollowed a certain someone on every social media site and deleted their number. I've been wanting to do it for a while but Idk, I just couldn't bring myself to letting go all the way. It's like even though we are "friends" he never fails to make me feel like I'm dumb or like he he's not trying to talk. No matter how hard I tried to hold on to it I guess I needed to just let it go. I cared about that guy way more than he cared about me and following him isn't anything but a constant reminder of how salty he makes me feel despite how much I tried to ignore it. If anyone is reading this and feels like they want to just cut all ties off with someone but is hesitant, just do it. I know theres no going back(because if you do, you'll look dumb as fuck reflowing him on twitter instagram and snapchat while asking for his number again) but trust me you'll feel kind of relieved after I promise.

Oh God, Tomorrow is monday and this is the week of thanksgiving. Dude they got me working Tuesday 5 to close, Wednesday 3-8, Thursday On Call 8pm- 1am, and Friday 12pm to fucking 9pm. I don't know who the fuck they think I am. But I'm not going to lie I need the money.

Speaking about needing money. It looks like I'm going to go to New York the week of Christmas! My uncle invited me. I'm excited because thats where I plan on transferring to after Normandale and I haven't been there yet. I know i'll just love it.

Well that sums up my weekend. Just a bunch of nothing. Talk to you guys soon.
xoxOyinda!

BOREDOM

The Come Up

           I'm sorry guys. I know I've been gone for so long. Well it's been a couple of weeks but to be honest to me it feels like forever. I need to make a schedule or something. Anyways I've kind of just been so focused on school lately with the semester coming to an end I'm just trying to make sure I end strong. Hey guess what though. I landed a position as one of the writers of Hiphopspeakeasy.com today. It's a  website based in New York that focuses on shedding light to underground Hiphop artist are slept on. I am super excited to join the team and contribute my creativity. Watch out for HipHop Speak Easy 2015 Yin is drafted. 

PS- Stay tuned guys I have a lot of ideas I'll be bringing to the blog

Julius "JUICE" Johnson presents www.JUICEEBOX.COM

By now y'all should know how much I love seeing people my age doing something. I'm sure we all know a "Sneaker Head" someone who is obsessed with sneakers,But forget them because now the only "Sneaker Head" we need to know is Julius Johnson? A 19 year old from the twin cities who took it upon himself to create JUICEEBOX.com, a savy online sneaker shop that provides some of the most popular designer sneakers such as Kobe's, KD's & Jordan's lightly worn for reasonable prices! "What inspired me was my love for the sneaker culture" Juilius Johnson. I think it's very admirable and refreshing to see young people like us out here doing their thing! 

shop these shoes at
   JUICEEBOX.com

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Get to know Minnesota's very own Female Rapper "Lexii Alijai"

K. So before you guys get into the interview I'd just like to say I was super nervous about meeting Lexii for nothing. She is the biggest sweetheart ever. Right when she opened the door and welcomed me in her vibe was so dope. It just made me respect her so much more. I love you girl & thanks again for this interview. I'm so glad I can be an outlet for #TEAMLEXIALIJAI to get to know you more! 

So you transferred schools? Tell me about that? Where did you go and where did you transfer?

Alright, So first I went to Como because I wanted to play basketball and I knew the coach and was close with them. But then after like a year I started like music more than I liked basketball. So I decided to transfer to a music school. I guess I just felt like basketball really wasn’t for me anymore.  That’s how that happened

How do you manage your time? Do you still make time to be a teenager or do you spend all your time at the studio?

It’s not like it’s hard. It’s fun to me. This is being a kid for me. Cause its like, I go to school over the week and I write at the studio at my school and record here at this studio because it’s better. Its not like I’m obligated to do this, this is what I love.

So is it easier for you to balance school and music now that you go to a music school?

Yeah

So what do you plan to do after high school? Are you trying to stay here in MN or what?

No. (Lightly laughs) I’m about to be famous pretty soon. Like no I’m not telling everybody that but its really bout to happen just take my word for it. I don’t even know if I’m finna be here. The music school kind of ruins that so I just transferred, I do an online school now.  But that’s just because when I first transferred to the music school there were only 101 students enrolled and now there’s so many kids there it’s just over populated. & A lot of them don’t even do arts.

What’s the music school called?

Creative Arts, Its in downtown St. Paul. But yeah, now its just way over populated and I’m not really a social person I like to be alone. So I just had to switch to online school. But that’s easier for me because if I go to NY or something I can just take my school with me.

So lets rewind back to when you first started music. You were in school right? Were you really quiet about it all or did a lot of your classmates know? How did they take it?

Yeah I was in middle school. That’s when I dropped my first song. It was a remix to rack city and I thought I was cold (Laughs). Everybody was amping me though. They knew my lyrics and stuff. It sounds horrible to me now but I guess it was just cool because I was little and nobody knew I could rap.

So there weren’t any haters?

No, only one person told me they didn’t like my music and that kind of stuck with me but other than that no.

So Lexii Alijai, Where did the Alijai come from?

Well Alexis is my first name and Alijai is my middle name

Tell me what Artist inspire you?

Can you guess?

J.Cole? (Laughs)

Yeah (laughs), He’s my main inspiration. He’s the reason I’m never getting braces, crooked smile of course. I just feel like there isn’t female artist out there who are okay with being imperfect. I just feel like I can use my imperfections to empower others just like he does.

This might be a hard question but if you could pick 3 artists that you would want to work with whom would they be & why?

J.Cole, Drake & Partynextdoor

Why

They’re just all dope a’f to me.

Are those your 3 favorite artists as of now?

As of now, yeah for sure

When you think about making it & who you do it for, who comes to mind?

Hmmm I don’t know, I think at this point right now I’m not even doing it for me I’m just doing it because I like it. Like it doesn’t feel like I’m doing it for a reason at this point its just fun.

How would you describe MN’s music scene? Do you feel like people are slept on, do you feel like there’s a lot of talent? What do you think?

A lot of people say everybody hates over here. But I don’t believe that, well I don’t get hate so I can’t really relate to that. Its cool to me I guess. I do feel like there’s a lot of talent I just think people aren’t making the right moves. Well I don’t really know what moves people make but I just feel like everybody stays in Minnesota and if you want to go somewhere in rap you don’t stay here, nothings happening here.

“Keep grindin girl your life can change in 1 year” Does that sound Familiar? How was it like meeting J.Cole?

This was Oct. 13. 2013, so I gave him my demo and it had 3 remixes on it. Horrible. Remixes! Keep in mind a demo is supposed to be all your own music to showcase your skill. So it was remixes of industry beats & they were horrible. & I just thought I was going to get famous like that week. I was thinking he’s going to call me back and sign me tomorrow (laughs). So I was just sitting up by my phone all night excited. But a couple weeks with no call passed and I got depressed. I was so sad.  Like there was this boy I was talking to and after that night I didn’t like him no more (Laughs) it was that serious. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t write, I had writers block it was horrible. But as time went on I just flipped it.  I realized he’s not going to call me because there was remixed on it & that shit was lame. I had no projects out I had nothing to back me up even if he did call me.  So then I started working on my first project and I dropped it in February…Meeting him since that day it just gave me the mindset like “okay, Cole is going to sign me one day & he’s going to know who I am.”  I don’t want him to think I’m weak. Because THAT shit was weak and I’m better than that. & I’m going to prove to him I’m better than that.

So that has been my motivation. Even until now. That day changed me for sure.

That’s Fucking Awesome. Meeting J.Cole? Shit my ass would probably fall out right there. Like how was his vibe though?

He was cool a’f! Like he kept grabbing my arm saying reassuring me its okay because I was so nervous. I couldn’t even talk right. Like I’m standing there trying to tell him how much he inspires me and I could barley even get the words out. It was so fucking embarrassing.

So you’ve done work w/ Rocky Diamonds. Describe your guy’s relationship. From my view it seems like a brother & sister bond. & How is it like working w/ him as well?

Yeah its cool, He’s in different states now since he’s signed his deal. So he’s not really here anymore but like I know if I need stuff I can hit him up about it. It is kind of a brother & sister bond.

Are you one of his Artists? Because I remember seeing him say that in one of his tweets?

He says that, but its not official or on paper or anything. He just says that so people can fuck with me.

Let me just say Feel-less was amazing. Honestly you had me on an emotional roller coaster. I loved it! So tell me about your producers?

Thank you so much! Well Wisdomatic is kind of like my main one but not really I get beats from other people and we kind of just collectively get them.  I just kind of pick and choose.

Do you let your producers have a lot of say or do you mostly just do it your own way?

I just kind of do what I do.

& You had Ashley Dubose on one. How do you know her and how did that come about?

This studio was where Rocky was recording. Before I even knew him this is where he, Fly and Ashley recorded. I didn’t know any of them so when I came here I just kind of got connections.

Other than your fans –

Fans? I don’t really think of them as fans. Supporters you mean?

No girl I think its safe to say you have fans. I’m def one of them. Trust me you have fans (Laughs)… Other than your fans who would you say are your main supporters?

Ummm I don’t know, I’m real lowkey. I don’t really tell my mom much. I know your family is supposed to be but I’m not really the type to go back and say everything if that makes sense. I probably don’t see that I have a support system but I don’t feel like I need one right now. I kind of just support myself. I don’t feel like I need someone to back me up. I don’t know.

Where do you see yourself in the next 3-5 years? Where do you aspire to be?

Famous. Honestly. My first album out for sure.

& You aspire to be signed to Dreamville?

Yeah I do. If Jay Z were to offer to sign me for more money than Cole would offer me I would go with  Cole because it’s more than the money it’s the dream.  That’s what it is.

I know why I should listen to you. But why do you think people should listen to you? Like why do you want to be heard?

Hmm wow that’s a great question I’ve never been asked that. Probably because I just feel like there is Cole who can offer the good stuff but there’s no girl who can offer stuff like that now days. There’s Nicki Minaj. She’s offering “bad bitch” & “turn up” But she can’t really offer you what Cole for an example can offer from a female perspective. I think that’s what I can bring to Hip Hop for the girls.

What can we expect from you in 2014 & beyond?

Welllllll I have another project coming out before my birthday (FEB 19^th) & Um a lot of shows possibly in the summer time.

Thank You, So Much! This means a lot. I don’t think you understand how many of us are on your side supporting you. So just don’t stop!

ETC..

"Ugly Ass Pussy" etc............Are you fucking kidding me?

Ugly vaginas? Seriously. This is why girls are so messed up these days. I was scrolling down Twitter, you know mindin' my business when i saw this vagina chart. That's really not what bothered me but what botherd me was the comments under it. Girls were saying their numbers. (Only the girls with the 6's and similar). Guys were saying things like "if you a "28" I ain't fucking w/ you" or hateful things like "that's that dark skin pussy" & other hateful ignorant things along those lines. What made me even more mad was that there were some females actually  favoriting some of these ignorant things. This is absolutey disgusting. I honestly don't know whether it's the fact that sex and our bodies it has become less & less personal with our time or just absolute misconception in media.

1. The part you guys are looking at in the chart distinguishing their beauty from is called a vulva! 

2. Get it through your heads Vulvas are diversed. & it has nothing to do with ones vagina. They still get wet & work just as good as the number 6's,10's etc which are considered the "Pretty vaginas"

Can I just say if your a guy that thinks all vaginas should look like 6 & the other ones that look similar you are not a man! Yes I said you it!  You are a boy who probably watches porn more than you actually have sex. & If you are a female who has a vagina like a number 18 don't feel any less of your vagina its still beautiful... well even if you don't consider it beautiful vagina is vagina okay! & Our bodies are not meant to be compared to one another and we are all so different. I feel that we as women should know that and not let these foolish depictions of media in porn and guys who think thats the way its "supposed to look" make us feel insecure. It's so sad that we live in a society where Vaginal Cosmetic Surgery even exists. We nip and stick our noses into everything. things that shouldn't even be our business, like how someone else's vagina looks. Then to the girls commenting there numbers just because they're 6's, 10's and 17's you are stupid. why are you showing people what your vagina looks like anyway? 

All vulvas look different all are beautiful all do the same thing. Keep it clean and thats all that matters. Like shit STFU sometimes for christ sake

"Nude" Ain't Just For White People

I came across an Instagram page the other day called Nubian Skin. And I must say the whole concept is amazing. What it is is a lingerie company that sells nude bras for women of color. I mean ladies think about it, you don't ever see nude bras/panties for darker tones. Like c'mon what about us dammit! lol I'm playing, but seriously though from my knowledge they are a fairly new company and just started selling this year. Anyway all I really got to say that its nice seeing black owned companies prosper( & Yessss it is black owned.) I'm rooting for them! So if you're a women of color and need something to wear under that sheer top, consider purchasing something from Nubian Skin. I know I will!

Sexting/Sending Nakies!!!!

Okay so i was reading this article on Cosmo about the topic of sexting and sending nudes. They did a survey for their readers and 64% of females said yes they have took part in sexting and/or have sent nudes or provocative pictures. & dont quote me on this statisitc because for all i know it could be complete bullshit. But i read somewhere on google when i was looking it up that 55% of females send nudes/sext before age 23. Okay well first off let me just say I promised I would start being more raw with you guys. Because I want you to know your are not alone & the most shameful, personal, specific things your going through are universal. So if you can relate its all worth it even if its at my own expense. Now if you can’t relate well, shit idk, enjoy i guess just dont be a judgmental bitch. Then again thats really out of my control.

Now to be completly honest I think i sent my first naked picture in middle school. Wait it wasn’t naked but it was with my bra and panties. It was for my boyfriend at the time. We were on the phone one night and things were getting spicy lol, or should i say as spicy as a 13 year old virgin could get. Then he was like “Would you ever send me a naked picture?” I was all stuck. I dont really remember what I said after that but i know it was along the lines of me saying “ If you show anyone ill kill you” Then I did. Now beyond that in my lifetime I know i’ve sent a few nakies to guys I dated and i’m not proud of it but at the same time i’m not beating myself them about it either. & In my opinon if you have you shouldnt beat yourself up too much about it either. I mean you’re human and you live and learn.

       I feel like almost every girl has done it. & If you haven’t Good for you “want a cookie?”

If your young, my advice to you would be not to send them. I know my experience wasnt horrible. But one of my friends in middle school sent one and it actually got passed out in school which wasnt a fun experience. & thats just middle school for you you shouldnt really expect anything less from a middle school boy who is probably seeing his first set of boobs. I guess i got lucky. Then again you prob wont listen, because i know at that age I didnt. So go ahead and make your own mistakes I guess.

Now if you’re around my age I’d say it’s ultimatly your decision. If you doi’d suggest being in a relationship with the person or at least make sure you really trust that person. Its not the smartest thing to do because shit this day and age nobody is really safe out here lol *cough cough Megan Good, Gaberielle Union etc. But we all know that yet still do it because shit

thats just how it is.

Also let me just add this before I go. Don’t do it because you feel pressured by the person. & If that person is mad at you because you dont send them thats really all the conformation you need on your relationship at the end of the day.

PS: Like India Arie said “don’t be offended this is all my opinion

Ain’t nothing that I’m saying law” This is just the perspective of an 18 yr old girl still learning

Before Bed Thoughts

                                       

If your anything like me you feel me when I say I'm the type of person who doesn't let 5 minutes pass without thinking about my future in terms of success. All I know is I'm trying to live my dreams because I know that 9-5 life ain't for me. It's crazy because If you ask me what I want to do when I grow up, either I won't really be able to tell you or I'll name like 5 different things. I was watching this interview w/ Karen Civil & she was saying "when people ask me what I am I don't even really know, so I just say I'm living out my purpose." I guess you can say that's all I really want for myself is to be living out my purpose. 

I have so many dreams & aspirations . & I don't want to use being young as an excuse to not start grinding. It's like all I think about is my next move. I want to make sure I'm putting in the work so opportunities can reveal themselves. It's Go Time.